The Sun Is Always There To Shine (the clouds block out the sky)
by CassidysPersona
Summary: "You've got stars in your eyes so, let's paint the sky" - Hold On by Extreme Music Snowy weather, closed roads, and migraines do not bode well when Rachel Bailey is trying to avoid the anniversary of the day her mother left. Emotions are high and she's feeling quite vulnerable. Who else but Janet to give support Rachel? Set during series two before Dominic attacks Savage.


**A/N: To be completely honest I am not even sure where this came from. Well the snow for one but the whole story idea no clue. Although if you are a migraine sufferer like me you shall know how irritating it is when someone tells you it's just a headache! Anyway, if I am completely honest I very much doubt the building has sleeping bags and pillows but hey ho it's a story! I don't care however, a S &B fic has been on my mind for a few days after completing some coursework for college it seemed brain development, attachment disorders and traumatic experiences tells me to write S&B fics! **

**Now I am nearly finished with college I should be able to update my S &B chapter fic about Nick Savage attacking Rachel but thought I'd give you guys something to read. Also it's 03:33am right now as I type so I am not entirely sure if this makes sense so I do apologise **

**Love**

 **CassidysPerosna x**

DCI Gill Murray walked into the main office where her team had been waiting to hear news on whether they'd be able to get home or not. It had been snowing all day and weather warnings had been on amber alert. Snow storms and freezing rain wasn't on Rachel Bailey's to do list of the evening. Rachel wasn't feeling well she had been feeling ill all day and just wanted her bed, her double bed with the thick duvet and she also had her brother living there and despite being in his late twenties Dominic's mind was that of a child's he had burnt her kitchen down making a cup of tea and written her car off she needed to get home to check on him.

As Gill leant against her office door Rachel could tell she was waiting to say something, "right listen up everyone I've just had word that roads won't be clear until morning, there's a backlog of traffic, so I'm afraid we're stuck here until morning."

"Oh god," Rachel groaned as she massaged her aching temples. Alison suffered from migraines when stressed and it seemed Rachel did the same, she loved her brother but he did stress her out. When she wasn't in she had visions of her flat setting alight or him bringing anyone back to her flat and she wanted to get home to ensure he was ok, "are you being serious?" Rachel asked as she looked up at Gill and blinked hoping it might stop the "stars" in her eyes from covering Gill's face.

"Sorry kid we're all stuck here," Gill looked at Rachel and saw the paleness of her skin, the dark rings around her eyes, "you alright?"

"Yeah Rach you're looking a little pale," Janet observed her friend's face, "what's up?" Janet stopped her natural instinct to feel her friend's forehead it was a classic mother instinct but Janet sometimes had to remember she wasn't Rachel's mother she was her friend no matter how much she accidentally mothered Rachel.

"One of my migraines…Dom's been stressing me out not intentionally but," Rachel lowered her voice to whisper, "he's a bloody liability he's burnt my kitchen down trying to make a cup of fucking tea, wrote my car off and just can't seem to do anything without needing help he's like a bloody child," Rachel leant her head against her desk and sighed heavily, "I'll have to ring our Alison to get her to check on him."

"Has he found anywhere to live yet?" Janet asked hoping to offer some advice, "like on his own."

"He can barely take care of himself Janet of course not, he's always been like it, Mum leaving screwed him up. Ali tried her best but she was barely an adult herself when Mum left and by the time he was responsible for himself she was married, had kids and I wasn't anywhere around," Rachel lifted her head up and rubbed her eyes, "he keeps me up at night, I panic thinking he's going to sneak out or burn my kitchen down again it's like he's a fucking child I can't handle it Janet! I've got a migraine now as well and I keep seeing stars around everyone."

"Hey," Janet said calmly to try and calm her friend down, "listen why don't I get you a glass of water? Gill what are we doing for sleeping arrangements?"

"They're bringing up some blankets and pillows but I'm trying to locate the air con for heat," Gill answered, "hopefully by morning we'll be moving again."

Rachel switched off her computer screen and buried her head between her folded arms, "Rachel why don't I ring Alison and tell her you're worried about Dom but you're not feeling very well so that's why you can't call?" Janet suggested trying to limit Rachel's screen time as much as she can, "where's your phone? I'll get you a glass of water as well ok."

"Yeah," Rachel nodded before closing her eyes still seeing stars, feeling her head spin.

Janet walked over to the kitchen area and got a glass out of the cupboard, the weather outside making the building cold to the point where the glass was freezing even before she turned on the tap. The detective unlocked Rachel's phone and pressed contacts finding her sister's number. Janet put the phone on loud speaker so she could hear if she answered but also not risk the phone falling in the sink, "I was just about to call you, have you seen the weather? Have you got enough electric Rach?" Alison spoke barely giving Janet a chance to even explain it wasn't her sister, "Rachel?"

"Alison it's Janet, listen we're stuck at the station as uniform have blocked the roads off and Rachel's really worried about Dom or she's worried about what he's doing," Janet took the phone off loud speaker and held it to her ear, "is there anyway you can check up on him?"

Alison frowned her brows and looked at her brother sat on her sofa playing a video game that his nephew was competing with him, "Dominic's here Janet I told her I'd have him for the night as she said she might get snowed in at work…is she ok?" Alison asked concerned.

"She's got a migraine and was getting in a state so I said I'd ring for her, I'll tell her not to worry," Janet looked over at her best friend and saw that Kevin Lumb was going to attempt to wake her by clapping his hands.

As Janet was about to deal with the situation Gill marched over, "Kevin Lumb if you dare try that I'll have you locked out of this building and shovelling snow!" Gill shouted despite being short she was terrifying, Kevin turned around to face the DCI with a look of fear on his face, "do you have any idea how much a migraine hurts?"

"It's just a headache," Kevin joked looking around to get others to laugh but he dropped his smile when Gill frowned her eyebrows glaring at him.

Rachel woke with a jump as she felt Kevin back away and lean against her desk, her left side of her head was pounding and her left eye felt like the only way to relieve the pain and pressure would be to pop it out, "Will you all stop shouting please," Rachel said with a groan in her voice as she went to lay her head back down her stomach twisted and her heart pounded against her chest, "Dominic! Jesus he's probably burnt my kitchen down by now," she pushed herself away from her desk and as she stood up she felt the room spin before having to grab onto her desk.

"Alison I'll call you back," Janet hung up the phone and dashed over to her friend holding onto her for her own safety, "Rach it's ok I've spoken to Alison ok she said she told you she'd have Dom as she knew you were worried…ok, sit down."

"My head's pounding," Rachel groaned her eyes starting to water up from pain. Rachel looked at Janet her big brown eyes shining with tears and then closed them in hope it would relieve some of the pain, "I need a glass of water."

"You stay sat down I got one ready for you," Janet went back to get the glass of water and then gave it to Rachel, "do you have any pain medication for migraines or do you sleep it off?"

"The doctor gave me some anti-nausea tablets they're in my bag so is my co-codamol," Rachel answered as she blinked a few times, "is Dom ok though?" she asked out of concern.

"He's ok, he's with Alison and isn't doing any harm," Janet ripped open the two tablets of co-codamol and dropped them into the water, "wait until the dissolve then take your anti-nausea with it," Janet ordered as she sat next to Rachel, "why haven't you said anything about Dom stressing you out?"

"He's my little brother Janet he's trying to get himself together, I feel sorry for him. As he was basically abandoned after Ali moved out and I went onto college then went onto training no wonder he fell into the wrong crowd," Rachel felt her eyes burning, migraines always played with her emotions it was like they turned her into an emotional wreck, "sorry…I just look back and wonder what I could've done."

"Nothing," Janet answered, "Rachel you had your own life starting out-"

"I can't use that as an excuse as Alison gave up everything, her education her life just so we didn't get taken into a care I was selfish I left, I left so I could get away from my family the memories, and what did I do? I left my brother to fuck up," Rachel covered her eyes with her hands trying to stop herself from crying.

"And you know what we all make choices in life, if you hadn't left to do all this then I would have never have met you and honestly sometimes I can't imagine what I'd do without you," Janet moved Rachel's hands away from her face and looked at her, "you're my best friend Rach just remember that. Now drink this," Janet pushed the glass in front of the detective and then popped an oval shaped tablet out of the silver foil, "and take this then I'll ask Godzilla if you can sleep in her office for a bit."

"Come in," Gill called as she heard Janet's familiar knock, "how's she doing?" she asked knowing that Janet was coming in to talk about Rachel.

"Not good that's what I came in to ask, can she sleep in here for a bit? Switch the lights off and she should be fine…" Janet waited for an answer part of her thought Gill would say no, yet the mother in both she knew if that was Sammy she would allow it and as at times the pair of them both came across like surrogate mothers to the young detective she hoped Gill would appeal to her softer side.

"Yeah of course that's fine…I need to sort out this heating so send her in and I'll go," Gill wasn't a stranger to migraines in fact she had been a victim to them once or twice and she could sympathise.

Janet walked over to Rachel and tapped her on the shoulder, "come on Sherlock you can sleep this off in Mam's office," Janet stood back to allow room for Rachel to get up and rubbed her back as she did. Rachel opened the door and walked in her vision going blurry from the painkillers kicking into her system, "you'll be alright chicken."

"I'll leave you to sleep this off, I'm going to sort out the heating," Gill told the detective who sat on the edge of her sofa, her elbow perched up on the arm of the sofa her head hidden in the palm of her hand, "so sleep it off kid and you'll be fine."

….

Rachel tossed and turned in her sleep as the combination of medication and migraine complications messed with her dreams.

 _The door opened in Rachel's room as her drunken depressed alcoholic father stepped into her room. His breath that stank of alcohol filling the air her room filled with the stench of cigarettes and whiskey, "what…whatareyou doing in my bed?" Her dad asked in a slurred voice it had been a week since Sharon had left and he was knee deep into his depression so much that he drowned himself in alcohol from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep, "get out!" He shouted raising his hand._

 _"Dad it's my room!" Rachel shouted hoping he might snap out of it, "your room's next-door dad."_

 _"I said get out you pathetic little girl!" He grabbed her arm with all the strength his thin tall frame had and threw her out the door closing it behind him, "and stay out!"_

 _Rachel sat by the stair bannister and pushed her knees to her chest her brown eyes filling with tears, rubbing the bruise that was forming on her arm that her dad's grip had caused, "dad! It's my room," she shouted, "DAD!"_

 _"Rachel stop shouting you idiot you'll wake up Dom," Alison scolded lightly as she stepped out from her bedroom door and found her sister, "he's too drunk to understand...you won't get any sense out of him...you can come in with me," Alison said softly as she knelt to Rachel's current level and sighed, "oh Rachel," Alison saw tears falling out of her sister's eyes and pulled her into a hug, "it's ok...everything will be ok."_

Rachel woke up on Gill's sofa with her heart pounding against her chest, that dream was far too vivid for her liking and she shot up checking she was in the present year, "you alright kid?" Gill asked as she took off her glasses and put her book down.

"I'm fine...I need...I need the toilet," Rachel got off the sofa and pulled open the door entering in the bright light of the main office. She couldn't figure out if it was her migraine making her want to vomit, the medication or the fact she had been sent back to a place she'd rather not revisit and was feeling sick from the anxiety. Pushing past Pete, Mitch and Janet she ran down the corridor and into the bathroom her and Janet were notorious for being found in closing the cubicle behind her bringing up water and bile. Rachel hated that her she couldn't escape her past in her dreams, it was like her conscience was trying to tell her something that maybe she needed to let it all go or she needed to get some therapy to revisit the memories and finally put them to rest. Her body shook from the cold and she could feel the burning in her throat caused by the acid.

Janet had sensed something wasn't right with Rachel regardless of a migraine she seemed distressed, "Rach?" Janet called as she opened the door and looked at the cubicles trying to figure out which one her friend was in, "are you alright chicken?" she asked feeling nervous that Rachel had passed out in the bathroom or fallen from dizziness as she entered the cubicle, "come on Rachel at least tell me where you are so I know you're breathing," Janet folded her cold arms and sighed heavily, "Rachel I have two teenage daughters if anyone is able to get someone out of a bathroom it's me so come on. If you're feeling a bit better I'll make you a hot chocolate," Janet raised an eyebrow as she heard movement and her lips curled into a smile the door opened and out came a pale looking Rachel Bailey shaking as she leant against the sink, "what's going on Rach? You've not been right all day."

"You'll think I'm stupid," Rachel mumbled under breath and when she turned to look at Janet she saw a concerned look in her eyes, "anniversary," Rachel said hoping Janet might not push for a continued answer but without even talking she could see Janet was wanting to know more, "of my mother leaving..."

Janet felt her heart sink as she could see the pain in her best friend's eyes as she tried to hide back the tears of that painful memory that she had kept hidden since she was twelve years old, "Oh Rachel why didn't you say anything?" Janet asked as the brunette washed her face hoping to wake herself up a bit, "if you needed time off you should've said-"

"I don't need time off Janet...don't you see? I need to be working I need to be here, because if I was at home I'd...I would've had our Alison constantly checking up on me and Dom's puppy dog look doesn't go bode well when I want to cry myself so I came here to work and I'm glad we're stuck here as I don't need to be checked up on like a fucking kid," Rachel leant against the sinks and closed her eyes, "that's why I didn't mention it as I wanted everything to be normal...I wanted to come to work and just stick my head inside a case and crack it as...if I don't this happens," she looked at Janet and the older detective saw the tears swimming in Rachel's big brown eyes, "I'm sorry."

"You are a human being Rachel Bailey...you are a human being with emotions, you hurt just like everyone else and you will cry like anyone else, do you know why? As you are human and shutting yourself off from your family, friends will not make the problem go away. You need to lean on those who care about you," Janet squeezed Rachel's wrist and smiled comfortingly, "I'm the first one to say Alison's a tad bit-"

"Overbearing, motherly, caring, loving, annoying everything that I'm not," Rachel listed a few words she used to describe her older sister.

"However, she's probably feeling the same way you do and would like someone to talk too," Janet pulled out Rachel's mobile from her pocket and placed it on the sink counter, "give her a call and when you get back I'll have a hot chocolate waiting for you."

…...

Rachel hadn't expected to choose her conversation with her sister in the bathroom but as she sat on the sink counter with her knees to her chest she waited for Alison to pick up the phone, "Which one am I speaking too?" Alison asked as she had learnt to ask now after Janet had called her off Rachel's mobile phone.

"It's me," Rachel said her hands still shaking as she felt her sugar levels dropping, "I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you and Dom all day."

"Don't know why you're apologising Rachel you always do it," Alison signalled for her son to budge up on the sofa and she sat down next to her brother, "has Janet put you up to this?" Alison knew Rachel too well and it had been obvious to her that she dealt with the departure of Sharon differently to herself and Dom. Alison didn't like it. She would prefer her around so they can do something altogether but she also knew Rachel hated family time and if work needed her she'd be there.

"She may have made me see that instead of shutting you lot out I should consider talking to you," Rachel leant her head against the cool tiles, breathing out as she did so, "I had one of those dreams again you know scenarios after mum left but in vivid dream form."

"Oh Rachel," was all Alison could say out of concern. The oldest sibling knew there were times when Rachel needed someone to listen and this was one of them.

"I know he was a depressed alcoholic but he really was horrible Ali," Rachel looked up at the ceiling and blinked a few times, "and I can't help but think if I had stayed around maybe Dom wouldn't have gone so off the rails and then what if I hadn't always pressed self-destruct before mum left? Maybe she left because she couldn't handle me being so self-destructive!"

"You listen here…mum left because she was a selfish you know what and there is no way on this earth that you would've caused her to pack her bags as she always in the back of her selfish little mind had it planned that as soon as I turned eighteen she would pack her bags. She also knew I'd be a legal adult able to take care of a twelve and ten-year-old without the schools or the social being able to remove you both as I was old enough to say I'm happy to take on responsibility. You weren't the reason Rachel you were a twelve-year-old girl who went to bed one night and woke up the next morning with her older sister in charge. Don't ever blame yourself for her actions as you did nothing wrong," Alison looked at Dom and saw his puppy dog eye staring at her with concern, "as for Dom and dad I would've kicked your backside into the police force if you decided to stay behind and repeat the past I wouldn't have allowed you to stay behind and take care of a sixteen year old as I was doing it myself, as for dad he was far too into his alcoholism to even know what day or year it was. He wasn't a horrible person naturally he just slipped out of the net within the system. I tried to get him help but he refused it and when he finally got a doctor's appointment they said unless he admitted there was a problem he couldn't get help."

"I'm sorry I just get emotional with migraines they mess with my whole body," Rachel sniffled and she looked around her to see if anyone had sneaked in whilst she was receiving a caring lecture off her sister.

"You feel any better for getting it off your chest?" Alison asked as she grabbed the remote to turn down the television and when Callum went to argue she glared at him, "if you carry on like that I'll send you to your room."

"How are you coping?" Rachel asked having realised she'd spent the entire time ranting and not actually asked how her sister and brother were, "thanks for listening."

"Yeah well sometimes you need to let it off your chest, don't you? Don't ever blame yourself again and if you do I'll come around your flat and drill it into your brain," Alison laughed to herself and then smiled when she heard Rachel laugh down the phone, "as for myself and Dom, I think we're alright I couldn't be bothered to cook tonight it's so cold I just wacked a few microwavable meals in the microwave...how's your head?"

"Spinning," Rachel answered, "I'll have to hang up in a minute else I'm going to throw up again...Ali, thanks for listening," Rachel grabbed some of her brown hair and twirled it around her finger sighing heavily.

"I wish you'd do it more often," Alison grumbled she was fond of Janet but at times she couldn't help but feel a little bit envious that her sister would rather spend her evenings with Janet or share a bottle of wine with her. Rachel was a private person at the best of times so to choose someone outside of their little family to share her personal business with was something she wished at times Rachel would phone her up, most of the time she understood why Rachel spoke to Janet they shared the same job, Janet knew where she was coming from with the police business but she did feel hurt when if it was something as personal as this she'd rather spend it with her police pals than actually open up without being prompted, "right kiddo I've got to go you get better soon and keep warm!"

"Alison..." Rachel swallowed a lump in her throat before finally saying something she hadn't said in a very long time, "I love you."

"Love you too."

…...

When Rachel walked back in she was surprised to find sleeping bags and pillows set out, it reminded her too much of a school trip she took once where they all slept in a hall in sleeping bags all huddled together. The heavy breathing of her classmates had triggered Rachel to think of her father when he came into her room at night and she retreated into the cloak room where she stayed there until the teacher and team leader came searching for her, safe to say she received a lecture about never sneaking off again and no matter how much she wanted to explain why she did it she also knew it could've got her and her siblings separated if the school ever had found out Alison from the young age of six had been mothering her and Dom since they were born they would've been taken into care even before their mother left. Now in the main office she breathed out and hoped to God that she wouldn't be freaked out by the sound of breathing from her colleagues, "don't worry we've put you next to Janet," Mitch teased as he saw the look of concern on Rachel's face, "you feeling any better?"

"I'm hoping that time spent in the toilets was used to contact your sister and not used to hide until the time seemed suitable," Janet warned but when she saw the look on Rachel's face she dropped the tone, "I was kidding Rach...come on think of it as one giant adult sleepover without the scary stories, late night chats and spin the bottle games. If you fall asleep that's fine I'll just make sure that Kevin Lumb doesn't try to wake you up again."

"Headache over yet Bailey?" Kevin asked as he came over with a cup of tea and biscuits in his hand but he placed it down when he saw the look of anger on Janet's face, "what?"

"How about I put your head through the dishwasher a few times and then see how you feel after," Rachel glared at Kevin before sitting down on the silk sleeping bag pulling her phone out of her pocket and laying it down in front of her, "then you can comment."

"It's just a headache everyone can function with a head-"

"After the day I've had Kevin you really do not want to be testing my patience on cretins like you!" Rachel shouted and she threw her pillow at him, "Google migraines and then come back to me."

"So, am I right to assume that Dominic is safe in your sister's house?" Janet asked with an eyebrow raised, "actually I decided against giving you dairy as apparently they make them worse so I settled for a mug of fruit tea...and don't judge I phoned my mother to ask how the girls were and decided to see if she knew any migraine relief techniques. Give us her pillow back," Janet clicked her fingers three times before Kevin threw it over for her to catch, "you need something to line your stomach as well in case your sick again."

"Look at DC Scott getting all motherly on DC Bailey, what's wrong? Mummy not around to tuck you into bed at night?" Kevin joked again but he sensed he had touched a nerve when Rachel looked at her phone and unlocked it.

"Kevin if you carry on you'll be spending the night outside without a sleeping bag do you hear me?" Janet threatened as she saw he was about make another comment, "drink this Sherlock and then get your head down I'll keep watch over childish idiots ok."

...

Janet woke up around midnight to the sound of the sleeping bag being shuffled about in, in her sleepiness she assumed Rachel was trying to get comfy but it became obvious it was something else when she heard Rachel mumbling.

 _Rachel's old house from childhood was vivid, the living room was as it was before it all went wrong and the smell of the rooms were as clear as she could remember. "Mum?" Rachel called as she ran down the stairs hoping to find her mother sat at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in her hand but the living room was left with the smell of smoke and alcohol left over from her dad and her parents smoking in the house, "mum?" Rachel called again but there not even a sound was to be heard, "mum you haven't woken dad up and he's late for his doctor's appointment," she turned her head and found her brother walking down the stairs, "go back upstairs Dominic," she ordered but he held out his hand and guided her back upstairs, "I've already checked the bathroom you idiot," Rachel was now in her parent's room where she found only their dad's stuff remained, "no... mum? Mum! Dad wake up!" she shook the passed-out man but he made no attempts of waking up, "Mum?!" Rachel shouted the noise echoing down the hallway. Tears falling down her cheeks as her brown eyes continued to produce more._

 _The name, "Rachel" sounded down the hallway in her mother's croaky voice, "Rach? Rachel, Rachel, Rachel wake up."_

Rachel shot up and put her hand to her heaving chest she felt her heart pounding against her chest she looked around to find herself on the floor of the office a hand placed on her shoulder, "What are you doing?!" Rachel shouted at Janet as she shuffled away, "my mum...she was calling me," Rachel rubbed her eyes with her hands and looked at Janet again, "she was calling down the hallway...Dom was gui...he was..." she trailed off when she felt that her cheeks were covered in tears, "what time is it?" the young detective asked as she turned on her side to flash her phone and found it was early hours of the morning, "Janet she was calling me."

"Rach, I think me waking you up got mixed in with your dream...your mum isn't here," Janet broke it to her gently as the brunette sniffled, "what was happening in your dream?"

"I was trying to find her...we were in our old house. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol it was so strong...dad was asleep in bed and mum's stuff was gone. Dom guided me to their bedroom and all her stuff was gone but he was the same age as he is now and I was watching me from my twelve- year-old point of view but I spoke to Dom like he was a child. Dad was the age he was when mum left...it was so real," Rachel closed her eyes and more tears came rolling down her cheeks.

"Come on lie back down and face me," Janet waited until Rachel was facing her before speaking, "you were having a very vivid dream and sort of nightmare, what happened was real but it isn't present now...so you're safe ok, you're around all of us and nothing is going to happen ok," Janet dried away Rachel's tears with her thumbs, "you'll be ok chicken."

"It was so real Janet," Rachel cried for a second forgetting she was around so many people, "dad wouldn't wake up."

"Shh," she soothed that being the only thing she knew to do when one of her daughters were upset and she hoped it would work on Rachel, "you're ok Rach...I'm here and you are safe. Try listening to the rain, concentrate on the raindrops pounding against the windows and the roof and that should get you back to sleep. Would you like me to stay close to you?"

"Yes please...Janet," Rachel turned her head to look at her best friend with her brown eyes shining with tears.

"Yes?" She asked in a whisper.

"Thank you...I'm sorry I woke you up," Rachel leant her head against Janet's shoulder as she felt she was nearby, "I love you...like a friend."

"Same back at you Sherlock," Janet ran her fingers through Rachel's brown hair and waited until she could hear heavy breathing, "Goodnight Sherlock."

 **Hope you enjoyed this your welcome to leave a review xxx**


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